I was just watching a program on Netflix called ‘surviving death’ and it was about people who had encountered a near death experience.
People who were clinically dead for minutes before being told by beings or passed loved ones that it was not their time and returning to their physical body.
The accounts were gripping and powerful.
These people were only normal people who went about their day-to-day life, completely unconscious to anything more than the physical reality they found themselves in, trying their best to navigate the human experience.
Some of the accounts described deep feelings of being at home. Coloured lights and vibrant smelling flowers everywhere.
They described seeing beings of some sort that held their hands and showered them with love and comfort.
Passed loved ones there to meet them but a consensus of being at home.
I personally have not had a near death experience; however, I could resonate so deeply with every word they said.
It brought tears of joy to my eyes and feelings of expansion in my heart.
Because I know there is more.
I connect to it every day.
I feel the divine consciousness run in me, through me and all around me.
It hit home to me that spirituality is not considered by most people because it shows nothing immediately tangible.
People don’t believe unless it is a scientific fact.
People live with the mindset that they must ‘see’ to ‘believe’.
However, the universe, spirit, source, whatever you want to call it… does not work like that.
You must ‘believe’ before you can ‘see’.
You go first and the universe will follow.
Allow me to share with you from my own perspective what spirituality and higher consciousness means to me.
I was somebody who lived deeply unconsciously for most of my life up until about 4 years ago.
I was in physical and emotional pain every day and I used drugs and alcohol to numb my mind and body from facing the truth.
I spent over a decade with addictive patterns and self-destructive behaviours because it was the only way I knew how to escape.
I entered a very dark place and I completely lost my identity.
I did not care for my health. I remember waking up one day and thinking “I must book in at the dentist” … when I arrived for my appointment, it has been 3 years!
I was shocked and mortified that I had thought so little of myself to look after my own health.
I did not care for the things I owned. My car would break down because there was no oil in it, and I would have to call my dad to rescue me. The tyres were so bald that they were illegal.
I rarely ever thought about myself or my own happiness because I was too busy defining myself by those around me and always trying to fix everybody else but myself.
I had become an expert in hedonism.
To be brutally honest… all I was bothered about was the next time I could drown my sorrows with alcohol and get off my head on cocaine.
I look back now at that girl I was, and it brings tears to my eyes. She was so lost and so deeply sad.
Then one day, I found the strength and courage to leave that life behind and the people in it.
It was one of the toughest decisions I have ever made. It took guts and determination to break free from all I had known for over a decade of my life.
My comfort blanket.
My excuse for not loving myself enough to find real happiness and accept myself for exactly who I was.
I could not go on any longer as that girl.
I always knew deep down that no matter how tough life got, I would fight back.
Even in my darkest of moments, I was always a warrior.
From that day on, and nowhere I hide, I started to see how messed up I truly was.
I started to explore myself pretty much straight away, reading books on anxiety and mindfulness, journaling every painful experience I could remember.
I also found yoga which helped me to connect back into my body and find some relief from ruminating thoughts and physical symptoms I felt constantly.
I met my best friend and soulmate 6 months on, and he mirrored to me all the aspects of myself that I had been hiding from.
I had absolutely zero self-esteem.
I did not even feel worthy of going for a meal with him, how sad is that.
I could not even have a conversation with him because I was so scared of saying the wrong thing or being judged.
My confidence was rock bottom.
I think its safe to say that I was a very lost soul trying to learn how to be human all over again.
About 2 years into the relationship, I had done everything I could possibly think of to help with my swirling emotions and deep feelings of shame, guilt and regret over how much I abused my own body.
I felt stuck.
Then I found spirituality.
I started working with a spiritual teacher and mindset coach.
This is when my true awakening and self-evolution really started.
I learnt how to understand my mind and body better and I started to dismantle, bit by bit, all the things that had been holding me back.
I learnt to understand my energy better and I learnt that I was an empath. This was like a lightbulb moment for me and explained a lot about why I always felt things more deeply than others.
Most importantly, this journey brought be back home to my soul.
We all have a soul, and we are all here with a souls purpose in this lifetime.
That could be to be a mom of 6, a charity worker, a teacher , a scientist or whatever.
We all have a soul’s purpose and that purpose, is why we incarnated into this lifetime.
To make peace with past life karma and to overcome soul trauma.
We choose the experiences in our lives for a reason.
So, we can learn from them and use those experiences in some way to shape who we are as a person or perhaps to pass on that wisdom and knowledge to serve others.
For me, learning to understand myself from a human aspect made space for me to see past the baggage that was weighing me down.
I was then able to start connecting with my higher self.
A higher state of consciousness where I would experience feelings of pure joy and love.
I was being guided in a way that I can only describe as feeling so in alignment with my heart and soul, that I felt so much love and gratitude for everything I had experienced and all the pain and suffering finally started to make sense.
I was following the guidance of my soul.
I was connecting to a higher dimensional realm, one that was not filled with pain and suffering or fear and control.
One where I felt at home.
At one with myself.
Finally, free from the internal turmoil of constantly battling against my true self.
4 years on and having worked with other spiritual teachers and diving very deep into my shadow self and past lives, I can tell you that there is nothing superficial about spirituality or the spirit.
It is very real, whether you believe it or not.
There is a higher state of consciousness that anybody can access.
For me right now, knowing that there is such a big divide in humanity makes me feel an internal sadness.
There are two vastly different timelines running right now.
Everybody has their own beliefs, and everybody is entitled to their own beliefs and their own truth.
For somebody like me, who has chosen to awaken to my full potential, and who has chosen to connect to a higher state of consciousness to fulfil my soul’s work.
It fills me with sadness that others choose not to see past their current reality when I know and can see what is possible for them.
It has been a big lesson for me to accept that we are all on our own journeys and we must respect that.
However, if you go back to the beginning where the people who had no clue that there was anything different other than this 3D reality, and who encountered a near death experience, you will notice they talk about the same things that I talk about….
A higher state of consciousness.
A feeling of pure joy and bliss.
A reality they have never seen before or forgotten about.
Whatever it is, it is a place that can only be described as heaven.
An internal connection that can be felt so powerfully and beautifully, that when you reconnect back to your soul, you will never look back.
I am here to create heaven on earth for those that genuinely want more from life and are here to play their part in the great awakening and the evolution of the collective.